Thursday, 15 September 2011

An Idea for Telecommunication Providers

Telecommunication providers lie and I'm sick of it.

I know I am not the only one in the UK who suffers with shitty signal quality from Three and I know I am not getting anywhere near 50mb broadband with Virgin. It seems whenever I am on the M4 my signal dies, or whenever I’m on the train going through Crowthorne or Sandhurst I’ll have no signal either.

He had a promising career in mobile phone sales.


A major gripe I have is Internet Service Providers (ISP’s) advertising “Up to 50mb” or “fastest internet ever” or mobile phone networks stating “99% UK coverage” or some false marketing bullshit to try get you in the door and rape your wallet. I’d appreciate some transparency and honesty here. Now they have made themselves a little get out of jail free card with the phrase “Up to” and my problem with that is essentially it is potential. As we all know the difference between potential and reality is often quite substantial. Here’s an anecdote an old boss of mine shared with me about the difference between the two.

"Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?" His father looks up and then says, "I'll display it to you. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Next, ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and we’ll discuss."


The boy is puzzled, but asks his mother, "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His mum with a little smile on her face says, "Yes, I would." Then he goes to his sisters room and asks her, "If someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?" His sister looks up and says, " Definitely!" The boy goes back to his father and his Dad says, " Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality we are living with a pair of sluts”

So yesterday whilst attempting to speak with my friend Louise on Vodafone and after a lot of dropped calls I came up with a brilliant idea – pay for the service you actually get. For example if you have 20% signal for the day, you only pay 20% of the line rental for that day. The same would apply to ISP’s. I you only get 10mb speeds and are promised 50mb you should only be required to pay for 1/5th of the service. The benefits of this are twofold.

1) The customer is not paying for a shitty level of service
2) The providers are forced to up their game and spend money upgrading their technology to give the customers what they say they will

I can’t see ISP’s or networks rushing to adopt this but hey, it is a good idea in my book. And this is my book, of sorts.

Well that’s my two cents on this. I’m off to potentially call people, browse the web on my mobile and download at 50mb. Then again I’ll probably accept I’m dealing with a pair of sluts.



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